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Post Info TOPIC: TAF's External Chat Room Thread
Anonymous

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TAF's External Chat Room Thread
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tum te tum te tummmmm... what's happening folks?

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Anonymous

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Nothin much here...have you heard about that new movie "Spanglish

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Anonymous

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WE NEED A DAMN EDIT BUTTON!

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Anonymous

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noooo.... but have you seen National Treasure?


 


btw... Jenn says crew chiefs rock...



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Anonymous

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/You've Gotz Mailz!!1!!!1!!!

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Anonymous

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Jenn is the awesomest!!!1!!!1!!

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Anonymous

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btw.......whut r crew chiefz??/??/?

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Anonymous

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You don't know? Go visit our website! www.aviationforum.org

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Anonymous

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TAF OWNZ THE HIZZO! EVERYBODY LEAVE THIS SHIZNIT DIZNET AND FLOCK TO TEH TAFness!!!

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Anonymous

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noooo i like this site... we don't have to register



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Anonymous

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Anonymous

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ME TWO! NOT REGESTERING IS GRATE!

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Anonymous

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woh, ywe cann spel regestering ? ey cantn

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Anonymous

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This forum sucks and blows. I want to be able to change the font color. Colors are awesome.

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Anonymous

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MY SPELING IS BETER THAN ADMINISTRAIGHTER 5000's!!!

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Anonymous

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addmihhnnastraightor 5000 cahn kisc mah asc



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Anonymous

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MINE TOO

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Anonymous

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hee sukx sou badd hee shal wrok fowr inddee

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Anonymous

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ME LUVZ KRISPIE KREMES

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Anonymous

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quote:

Originally posted by: Anonymous

"hee sukx sou badd hee shal wrok fowr inddee"

Indheed Whatson.

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Anonymous

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ey purfphir dunkuhns



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Anonymous

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is there a limit to post length?


is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?is there a limit to post length?



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Anonymous

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Dhunkinz ihz rhun bhuy thoz kreepee injuns

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Anonymous

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Article. I.
Section 1.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section. 2.

Clause 1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

Clause 2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Clause 3: Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. (See Note 2) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

Clause 4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

Clause 5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
Section. 3.

Clause 1: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, (See Note 3) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Clause 2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies. (See Note 4)

Clause 3: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

Clause 4: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

Clause 5: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

Clause 6: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Clause 7: Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.
Section. 4.

Clause 1: The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

Clause 2: The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, (See Note 5) unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Section. 5.

Clause 1: Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Clause 2: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

Clause 3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

Clause 4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.
Section. 6.

Clause 1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. (See Note 6) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, beprivileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

Clause 2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.
Section. 7.

Clause 1: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

Clause 2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

Clause 3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Section. 8.

Clause 1: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

Clause 2: To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;

Clause 3: To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

Clause 4: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

Clause 5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

Clause 6: To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

Clause 7: To establish Post Offices and post Roads;

Clause 8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

Clause 9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

Clause 10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

Clause 11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

Clause 12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

Clause 13: To provide and maintain a Navy;

Clause 14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

Clause 15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

Clause 16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

Clause 17: To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, byCession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;--And

Clause 18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
Section. 9.

Clause 1: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

Clause 2: The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

Clause 3: No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

Clause 4: No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken. (See Note 7)

Clause 5: No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

Clause 6: No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

Clause 7: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

Clause 8: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.
Section. 10.

Clause 1: No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

Clause 2: No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

Clause 3: No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.
Article. II.
Section. 1.

Clause 1: The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows

Clause 2: Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

Clause 3: The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two Persons, of whom one at least shall not be an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; A quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice President. (See Note 8)

Clause 4: The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

Clause 5: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Clause 6: In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, (See Note 9) the Same shall devolve on the VicePresident, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.

Clause 7: The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be encreased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.

Clause 8: Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Section. 2.

Clause 1: The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

Clause 2: He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

Clause 3: The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.
Section. 3.

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.
Section. 4.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Article. III.
Section. 1.

The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
Section. 2.

Clause 1: The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more States;--between a State and Citizens of another State; (See Note 10)--between Citizens of different States, --between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.

Clause 2: In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

Clause 3: The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.
Section. 3.

Clause 1: Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

Clause 2: The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.
Article. IV.
Section. 1.

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Section. 2.

Clause 1: The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

Clause 2: A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

Clause 3: No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due. (See Note 11)
Section. 3.

Clause 1: New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or Parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

Clause 2: The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.
Section. 4.

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.
Article. V.

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.
Article. VI.

Clause 1: All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

Clause 2: This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Clause 3: The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.
Article. VII. The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names,

GO WASHINGTON--Presidt. and deputy from Virginia

[Signed also by the deputies of twelve States.]

Delaware

Geo: Read
Gunning Bedford jun
John Dickinson
Richard Bassett
Jaco: Broom

Maryland

James MCHenry
Dan of ST ThoS. Jenifer
DanL Carroll.

Virginia

John Blair--
James Madison Jr.

North Carolina

WM Blount
RichD. Dobbs Spaight.
Hu Williamson

South Carolina

J. Rutledge
Charles 1ACotesworth Pinckney
Charles Pinckney
Pierce Butler.

Georgia

William Few
Abr Baldwin

New Hampshire

John Langdon
Nicholas Gilman

Massachusetts

Nathaniel Gorham
Rufus King

Connecticut
WM. SamL. Johnson
Roger Sherman

New York

Alexander Hamilton

New Jersey

Wil: Livingston
David Brearley.
WM. Paterson.
Jona: Dayton

Pennsylvania

B Franklin
Thomas Mifflin
RobT Morris
Geo. Clymer
ThoS. FitzSimons
Jared Ingersoll
James Wilson.
Gouv Morris

Attest William Jackson Secretary



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Anonymous

Date:
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Anonymous

Date:
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Whereas, on the twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, a proclamation was issued by the President of the United States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:



"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.


 


"That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States."


 


Now, therefore I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commander-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy of the United States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of the United States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion, do, on this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United States, the following, to wit:



Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, (except the Parishes of St. Bernard, Plaquemines, Jefferson, St. John, St. Charles, St. James Ascension, Assumption, Terrebonne, Lafourche, St. Mary, St. Martin, and Orleans, including the City of New Orleans) Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia, (except the forty-eight counties designated as West Virginia, and also the counties of Berkley, Accomac, Northampton, Elizabeth City, York, Princess Ann, and Norfolk, including the cities of Norfolk and Portsmouth[)], and which excepted parts, are for the present, left precisely as if this proclamation were not issued.


 


And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons.


 


And I hereby enjoin upon the people so declared to be free to abstain from all violence, unless in necessary self-defence; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they labor faithfully for reasonable wages.



And I further declare and make known, that such persons of suitable condition, will be received into the armed service of the United States to garrison forts, positions, stations, and other places, and to man vessels of all sorts in said service.


 


And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty God.



In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.


 


Done at the City of Washington, this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty three, and of the Independence of the United States of America the eighty-seventh.


 


By the President: ABRAHAM LINCOLN
WILLIAM H. SEWARD, Secretary of State.


Whereas, on the twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, a proclamation was issued by the President of the United States, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:



"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.


 


"That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States."


 


Now, therefore I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commander-in-Chief, of the Army and Navy of the United States in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of the United States, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion, do, on this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of one hundred days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the States and parts of States wherein the people thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the United States, the following, to wit:



Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, (except the Parishes of St. Bernard, Plaquemines, Jefferson, St. John, St. Charles, St. James Ascension, Assumption, Terrebonne, Lafourche, St. Mary, St. Martin, and Orleans, including the City of New Orleans) Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia, (except the forty-eight counties designated as West Virginia, and also the counties of Berkley, Accomac, Northampton, Elizabeth City, York, Princess Ann, and Norfolk, including the cities of Norfolk and Portsmouth[)], and which excepted parts, are for the present, left precisely as if this proclamation were not issued.


 


And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons.


 


And I hereby enjoin upon the people so declared to be free to abstain from all violence, unless in necessary self-defence; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they labor faithfully for reasonable wages.



And I further declare and make known, that such persons of suitable condition, will be received into the armed service of the United States to garrison forts, positions, stations, and other places, and to man vessels of all sorts in said service.


 


And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty God.



In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.


 


Done at the City of Washington, this first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty three, and of the Independence of the United States of America the eighty-seventh.


 


By the President: ABRAHAM LINCOLN
WILLIAM H. SEWARD, Secretary of State.

__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink   

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and kneew for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

(belch)


__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink   

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


 


O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.


With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!


From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.


O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.



__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink   


[Code of Federal Regulations]
[Title 14, Volume 2]
[Revised as of January 1, 2003]
From the U.S. Government Printing Office via GPO Access
[CITE: 14CFR121.2]

[Page 348-350]

TITLE 14--AERONAUTICSAND SPACE

CHAPTER I--FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION, DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION
(CONTINUED)

PART 121--OPERATING REQUIREMENTS: DOMESTIC, FLAG, AND SUPPLEMENTAL
OPERATIONS--Table of Contents

Subpart A--General

Sec. 121.2 Compliance schedule for operators that transition to part
121; certain new entrant operators.

(a) Applicability. This section applies to the following:
(1) Each certificate holder that was issued an air carrier or
operating certificate and operations specifications under the
requirements of part 135 of this chapter or under SFAR No. 38-2 of 14
CFR part 121 before January 19, 1996, and that conducts scheduled
passenger-carrying operations with:
(i) Nontransport category turbopropeller powered airplanes type
certificated after December 31, 1964, that have a passenger seat
configuration of 10-19 seats;
(ii) Transport category turbopropeller powered airplanes that have a
passenger seat configuration of 20-30 seats; or

[Page 349]

(iii) Turbojet engine powered airplanes having a passenger seat
configuration of 1-30 seats.
(2) Each person who, after January 19, 1996, applies for or obtains
an initial air carrier or operating certificate and operations
specifications to conduct scheduled passenger-carrying operations in the
kinds of airplanes described in paragraphs (a)(1)(i), (a)(1)(ii), or
paragraph (a)(1)(iii) of this section.
(b) Obtaining operations specifications. A certificate holder
described in paragraph (a)(1) of this section may not, after March 20,
1997, operate an airplane described in paragraphs (a)(1)(i), (a)(1)(ii),
or (a)(1)(iii) of this section in scheduled passenger-carrying
operations, unless it obtains operations specifications to conduct its
scheduled operations under this part on or before March 20, 1997.
(c) Regular or accelerated compliance. Except as provided in
paragraphs (d), (e), and (i) of this section, each certificate holder
described in paragraphs (a)(1) of this section shall comply with each
applicable requirement of this part on and after March 20, 1997 or on
and after the date on which the certificate holder is issued operations
specifications under this part, whichever occurs first. Except as
provided in paragraphs (d) and (e) of this section, each person
described in paragraph (a)(2) of this section shall comply with each
applicable requirement of this part on and after the date on which that
person is issued a certificate and operations specifications under this
part.
(d) Delayed compliance dates. Unless paragraph (e) of this section
specifies an earlier compliance date, no certificate holder that is
covered by paragraph (a) of this section may operate an airplane in 14
CFR part 121 operations on or after a date listed in this paragraph (d)
unless that airplane meets the applicable requirement of this paragraph
(d):
(1) Nontransport category turbopropeller powered airplanes type
certificated after December 31, 1964, that have a passenger seat
configuration of 10-19 seats. No certificate holder may operate under
this part an airplane that is described in paragraph (a)(1)(i) of this
section on or after a date listed in paragraph (d)(1) of this section
unless that airplane meets the applicable requirement listed in
paragraph (d)(1) of this section:
(i) December 20, 1997:
(A) Section 121.289, Landing gear aural warning.
(B) Section 121.308, Lavatory fire protection.
(C) Section 121.310(e), Emergency exit handle illumination.
(D) Section 121.337(b)(8), Protective breathing equipment.
(E) Section 121.340, Emergency flotation means.
(ii) December 20, 1999: Section 121.342, Pitot heat indication
system.
(iii) December 20, 2010:
(A) For airplanes described in Sec. 121.157(f), the Airplane
Performance Operating Limitations in Secs. 121.189 through 121.197.
(B) Section 121.161(b), Ditching approval.
(C) Section 121.305(j), Third attitude indicator.
(D) Section 121.312(c), Passenger seat cushion flammability.
(iv) March 12, 1999: Section 121.310(b)(1), Interior emergency exit
locating sign.
(2) Transport category turbopropeller powered airplanes that have a
passenger seat configuration of 20-30 seats. No certificate holder may
operate under this part an airplane that is described in paragraph
(a)(1)(ii) of this section on or after a date listed in paragraph (d)(2)
of this section unless that airplane meets the applicable requirement
listed in paragraph (d)(2) of this section:
(i) December 20, 1997:
(A) Section 121.308, Lavatory fire protection.
(B) Section 121.337(b) (8) and (9), Protective breathing equipment.
(C) Section 121.340, Emergency flotation means.
(ii) December 20, 2010: Sec. 121.305(j), third attitude indicator.
(e) Newly manufactured airplanes. No certificate holder that is
described in paragraph (a) of this section may operate under this part
an airplane manufactured on or after a date listed in this paragraph
unless that airplane meets the applicable requirement listed in this
paragraph (e).

[Page 350]

(1) For nontransport category turbopropeller powered airplanes type
certificated after December 31, 1964, that have a passenger seat
configuration of 10-19 seats:
(i) Manufactured on or after March 20, 1997:
(A) Section 121.305(j), Third attitude indicator.
(B) Section 121.311(f), Safety belts and shoulder harnesses.
(ii) Manufactured on or after December 20, 1997; Section 121.317(a),
Fasten seat belt light.
(iii) Manufactured on or after December 20, 1999: Section 121.293,
Takeoff warning system.
(iv) Manufactured on or after March 12, 1999: Section 121.310(b)(1),
Interior emergency exit locating sign.
(2) For transport category turbopropeller powered airplanes that
have a passenger seat configuration of 20-30 seats manufactured on or
after March 20, 1997: Section 121.305(j), Third attitude indicator.
(f) New type certification requirements. No person may operate an
airplane for which the application for a type certificate was filed
after March 29, 1995, in 14 CFR part 121 operations unless that airplane
is type certificated under part 25 of this chapter.
(g) Transition plan. Before March 19, 1996 each certificate holder
described in paragraph (a)(1) of this section must submit to the FAA a
transition plan (containing a calendar of events) for moving from
conducting its scheduled operations under the commuter requirements of
part 135 of this chapter to the requirements for domestic or flag
operations under this part. Each transition plan must contain details on
the following:
(1) Plans for obtaining new operations specifications authorizing
domestic or flag operations;
(2) Plans for being in compliance with the applicable requirements
of this part on or before March 20, 1997; and
(3) Plans for complying with the compliance date schedules contained
in paragraphs (d) and (e) of this section.
(h) Continuing requirements. A certificate holder described in
paragraph (a) of this section shall comply with the applicable airplane
operating and equipment requirements of part 135 of this chapter for the
airplanes described in paragraph (a)(1) of this section, until the
airplane meets the specific compliance dates in paragraphs (d) and (e)
of this section.
(i) Delayed pilot age limitation. (1) Notwithstanding
Sec. 121.383(c), and except as provided in paragraph (i)(2) of this
section, a certificate holder may use the services of a person as a
pilot in operations covered by paragraph (a)(1) of this section after
that person has reached his or her 60th birthday, until December 20,
1999. Notwithstanding Sec. 121.383(c), and except as provided in
paragraph (i)(2) of this section, a person may serve as a pilot in
operations covered by paragraph (a)(1) of this section after that person
has reached his or her 60th birthday, until December 20, 1999.
(2) This paragraph applies only to persons who were employed as
pilots by a certificate holder in operations covered by paragraph (a)(1)
of this section on March 20, 1997.
(j) Any training or qualification obtained by a crewmember under
part 135 of this chapter before March 20, 1997, is entitled to credit
under this part for the purpose of meeting the requirements of this
part, as determined by the Administrator. Records kept by a certificate
holder under part 135 of this chapter before March 20, 1997, can be
annotated, with the approval of the Administrator, to reflect crewmember
training and qualification credited toward part 121 requirements.

[Doc. No. 28154, 60 FR 65925, Dec. 20, 1995, as amended by Amdt. 121-
253, 61 FR 2609, Jan. 26, 1996; Amdt 121-256, 61 FR 30434, June 14,
1996; Amdt. 121-262, 62 FR 13256, Mar. 19, 1997]






__________________
Anonymous

Date:
Permalink   


[Code of Federal Regulations]
[Title 14, Volume 2]
[Revised as of January 1, 2003]
From the U.S. Government Printing Office via GPO Access
[CITE: 14CFR121.97]

[Page 351-352]

TITLE 14--AERONAUTICSAND SPACE

CHAPTER I--FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION, DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION
(CONTINUED)

PART 121--OPERATING REQUIREMENTS: DOMESTIC, FLAG, AND SUPPLEMENTAL
OPERATIONS--Table of Contents

Subpart E--Approval of Routes: Domestic and Flag Operations

Sec. 121.97 Airports: Required data.

(a) Each certificate holder conducting domestic or flag operations
must show that each route it submits

[Page 352]

for approval has enough airports that are properly equipped and adequate
for the proposed operation, considering such items as size, surface,
obstructions, facilities, public protection, lighting, navigational and
communications aids, and ATC.
(b) Each certificate holder conducting domestic or flag operations
must show that it has an approved system for obtaining, maintaining, and
distributing to appropriate personnel current aeronautical data for each
airport it uses to ensure a safe operation at that airport. The
aeronautical data must include the following:
(1) Airports.
(i) Facilities.
(ii) Public protection.
(iii) Navigational and communications aids.
(iv) Construction affecting takeoff, landing, or ground operations.
(v) Air traffic facilities.
(2) Runways, clearways and stopways.
(i) Dimensions.
(ii) Surface.
(iii) Marking and lighting systems.
(iv) Elevation and gradient.
(3) Displaced thresholds.
(i) Location.
(ii) Dimensions.
(iii) Takeoff or landing or both.
(4) Obstacles.
(i) Those affecting takeoff and landing performance computations in
accordance with Subpart I of this part.
(ii) Controlling obstacles.
(5) Instrument flight procedures.
(i) Departure procedure.
(ii) Approach procedure.
(iii) Missed approach procedure.
(6) Special information.
(i) Runway visual range measurement equipment.
(ii) Prevailing winds under low visibility conditions.
(c) If the certificate-holding district office charged with the
overall inspection of the certificate holder's operations finds that
revisions are necessary for the continued adequacy of the certificate
holder's system for collection, dissemination, and usage of aeronautical
data that has been granted approval, the certificate holder shall, after
notification by the certificate-holding district office, make those
revisions in the system. Within 30 days after the certificate holder
receives such notice, the certificate holder may file a petition to
reconsider the notice with the Director, Flight Standards Service. This
filing of a petition to reconsider stays the notice pending a decision
by the Director, Flight Standards Service. However, if the certificate-
holding district office finds that there is an emergency that requires
immediate action in the interest of safety in air transportation, the
Director, Flight Standards Service may, upon statement of the reasons,
require a change effective without stay.

[Doc. No. 6258, 29 FR 19194, Dec. 31, 1964, as amended by Amdt. 121-162,
45 FR 46738, July 10, 1980; Amdt. 121-207, 54 FR 39293, Sept. 25, 1989;
Amdt. 121-253, 61 FR 2610, Jan. 26, 1996]






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